Tuesday, March 30, 2010

The Light in Her Eyes

She got into my truck and looked my way. I was taken by the light in her eyes. She looked so beautiful, her face flush. I could tell she'd been worked over. First day of the Teen "Kick Like a Girl" Self Defense course I signed her up for.

The beauty that she had was not pure physical beautiful though she is... she has eyes like her mom, but this was an inner beauty shining through. It was something that comes with being empowered, it comes along with a new well earned sense of confidence, a being free, a least for the moment, of going past the fear body and into a new territory of being alive.

She'd been screaming, kicking, punching, poking eyes out, stomping on the feet of well padded assailants, men double and tripled covered in protective gear so that the girls could respond to them in full forced, not a nice no... but a full SCREAM - NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
And then take em down, take em out, get away, and seek help!

The next day she and her girlfriend were at it again and I got see them do a session. I had to get to an appointment, my daughter was in the later group, and there was no way I was going to miss this! It was something we were doing together in a sense, her being afraid to walk a few blocks home 3 month ago in a quiet safe town and neighborhood, and me sensing that feeling safer in her body a wonderful investment into her life.

Fear, she's a girl that has fear. Ever read the Ennegram

Enneagram - Style Six

The Loyalist

Sixes live in a world filled with danger. They either run from it or toward it. Many people who perform great feats of bravery are trying desperately to ward off an inner fear. We call those Sixes who go toward danger "Counterphobic" Sixes. Counterphobic Sixes look quite different from Phobic Sixes who run away from danger.

Healthy Sixes are the glue of an office, family or community. They are charming and diplomatic, always concerned about the common good. They are often funny and imaginative. They are loyal, hard-working, and usually protective of a tradition. They make and keep lots of friends. They love win/win situations. Sixes make our bureaucracy run smoothly. They have the patience and charm and are willing to do the drudgery work.

More unhealthy Sixes become excessively devoted to a tradition or community (church, party, company) and become blind followers. They give away their power to the authorities, all the time not trusting the authorities. They become suspicious and begin to worry a lot. This can prevent them from taking appropriate action in their life. They control others by doubts and second-guessing each decision.

Recognizing Style Six

They may be ambivalent about many things.
They may accept a rational position, but won't act on it. Fear kicks in.
They may have trouble taking action. Worry replaces doing.
They may imagine the worst. "What if."
They may feel most anxious at the time of success.
They may constantly scan the environment for danger.
They may provoke you just to find out what you think.
They may be groupies.
They may distrust your information, your sources, etc.
They may be taut, unable to relax often.
How you can help

Create an atmosphere of trust. Nothing happens until that does.
Physical relaxation helps take the focus off obsessive thinking.
Teach them to doubt their doubting process. "What if you're wrong?"
Exaggerate to the absurd. "And if we're lucky, we'll die first."
Call them on their habit of projection.
Bring fears into reality. They fear most what is in their imagination.
Help them choose a larger role in the community.
Guided imagery is excellent prayer for them.
Massage and all bodywork are helpful.
For Christians, angels are helpful. (Consistent message: "fear not.")

there, that about sums it up