The younger one is in the kitchen and living room cleaning up. She somehow always forget to clean up after herself and when friends sleep over, even after being told twice. It's a heated topic here at the house, kids cleaning up after themselves "so that" adults don't have to. It seems to be a groove that needs lots of supervision to create a habit.
CRASH.... from the kitchen, while I am writing this. Broken glass jar. I set her up to clean it up herself.
I just got off the phone with the older one (14). Oh man.... I got pissed/triggered. I like that word "triggered," it's when something occurs in your field of experience that sets something off inside, a part of you gets activated and your emotion body lights up usually in anger, judgment, or fear. It basically throws you into your inner kid or teenager in charge and you want to do anything you can to NOT feel. And if your not on top of your game, you know... owning your own stuff, able to understand how you feel, then you usually take it out on those closest to you.
So when she asks for a ride home and she's only 8 blocks away, and I say walk.... it's a sunny Sat. morning, and she keeps going at it, relentlessly, until I say, "see you here at home, I love you," and hang up.
She pulled one of these a few nights ago. After school she walked to a friends house after school. She called home, asked for a ride home, it's 6 blocks away, I said walk, and come home before it's dark.
Well time got away from her, it got darker than she thought and all the sudden she's afraid (that she will get raped, murdered) and calling for a ride. "No... walk, it's your responsibility, we already talked about this." She calls mom.
My wife and I are both bugged by this teen behavior, it's on-going. So she talks her friend into walking her home, and tries to make us wrong for it all. Wait..... it's too messy. She and I even try to talk about it later and its still messy.
One thing I do see is that a self defense class is important and would be empowering. I have talked her her about this and she's interested. Just found a class on line, "Kick Like A Girl," and singed her and a friend up. www.impactbayarea.org
to be continued....